The bible is unequivocal on this point:  Jesus is coming again!  What if Jesus made His triumphal return tonight?  For some of us, the prospect moves us to the edge of our seats with excitement.  For others, it's a terrifying idea.

When I first became a Christian, there were days when I would look up into the sky and imagine Jesus riding on the clouds, bringing an end to this current age.  My heart ached to see Him and to be rid of the shackles of this life.  In my mind's eye I could see myself running to Him and burying myself in His robes of righteousness.  My spirit would overflow with love, joy, and peace.

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Few things in life are as scary as letting another person look deep inside of us - letting them see who we really are.  I got thinking about this as I read Philip Gulley's wonderful book Home to Harmony.  He wrote, "The bench still sits in front of the Rexall.  Sometimes I eat my lunch there and wonder about the passing people - where they've been and where they're headed.  I thought I knew them, but now that I'm their pastor it occurs to me that I don't know them at all.  Perhaps I never did.  Never knew their desolations, their pinings, their hunger for grace in a grace-starved world.  The only things I know of them are the things they want me to know."

How much of my true self do I let others see - even those who are completely trustworthy because they love me?  I am loved by my wife, my mom, my pastor, and others.  If I am honest (and it's not easy to be), I think I'd have to say only my wife gets close to 100% honesty from me.   My mom knows me pretty thoroughly because, well, because she's my mom and moms are like that.  And I let my pastor see most of me because of our history together.  We have been through a lot and I love him and treasure him for it.

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Throughout the 23 years I was a pastor, I prayed that God would give me a pastor's heart.  I continue to pray for my pastors that they would have pastors' hearts.  But what, you may be asking, does a pastor's heart look like?

In Ezekiel 34, God's heart for us is revealed, and it is a pastor's heart.  For this is what the Sovereign Lord says:  I myself will search for my sheep and look after them....I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness....I will bring them into their own land.  I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel....I will tend them in a good pasture....I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down....I will search for the lost and bring back the strays.  I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak....I will shepherd the flock with justice. 

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In Proverbs it says that a word spoken at the right time, in the right way is like "apples of gold and pitchers of silver."  In the words of a certain credit card company, it is priceless.  I have been blessed to be around many encouragers. 

My parents were both encouragers.  I grew up with my parents expressing their confidence in me and their support of my endeavors when I wanted to try something new.  When I first entered the ministry, my pastor and mentor constantly encouraged me to develop my gfts and to try new things for the sake of the Kingdom of God.  My wife is my biggest cheerleader.  She constantly affirms and encourages me.  Like I said, I have been blessed.

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I had lunch today with a close friend who attended a conference recently for church leaders.  He shared about several conversations he had with pastors and church leaders who are feeling very beat up.  I know how that feels.

Not too long after I stepped away from pastoral ministry, my wife stepped away from me.  In fact, she stepped so far, she left to marry someone else.  Talk about feeling beat up, that is just about as bad as it gets.

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